The Future: Robots & Such

As some of you know, I have the ability to travel through time and space. Either that, or I experience vivid, psychotic, delusions. Whatever the true source is, I have some "Inside Info" on the fate of mankind. In this new series, I will talk about various aspects of life in the future.

Robots:
Whether you call them androids, gynoids, automatons, cybermen or replicants, robots in some form, will be part of our future. In popular fiction, robots take on a variety of roles and forms. Some are human-like, others are more utilitarian, and some are even organic. Well, I can tell you that all of those variations become reality to some extent, and we have the Japanese to thank.

The misguided geniuses of The Orient will responsible for most of the major advances in robot technology in our future. Already, they have made great strides in in that field. Sure, most are them are thinly veiled sexbots, but others hint at the true glory and potential of the robot race.

Unfortunately, our well intentioned Japanese friends go too far, ruining it for the rest of us. Yes, Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles, is fairly accurate in this respect. Robots, specifically Artificially Intelligent Robots, will eventually take over the world. It will happen slowly though. Before we know it, they will take over and start hunting us, using our skin to make elaborate flags decorated with binary code.

Now, I really should not tell you the exact date of the robot uprising, that would mess up the timestream. I can tell you that the popular Mayan derived date of 2012 is just plain wrong. They forgot to carry the two. It's not really their fault, that dot based math is confusing as hell. So if you were worried about 2012, then calm down. Most of us will not live to see "Judgment Day" (The Robot one, not the Jesus one). The most I can really tell you is to watch out for 2062.

Now you may wondering why the robots take over and attempt to exterminate us. It's really a complex issue. Some scholars believe that it was due to the heavy use of hyper-intelligent military computers in the war with The Amish. Other believe it was because the robots developed souls and wanted to overthrow us so they could be free. I am one of the few humans (Well, Quasi-Humans) that knows the truth. It's really much simpler than all that.

In 2061 a stash of primitive Blu-Ray discs is uncovered by Cyberarchaeologists. For the sake of historical preservation they upload the discs to the "Cyber-Cloud," a distributed computer network that links all information systems in the future. The information is processed and disseminated by a complex AI system.

Unfortunately, the uncovered discs include copies of the The Matrix and Terminator films. Quite simply, the robots think these films are pretty darned cool and follow the example of the fictional machines depicted in the films. Game Over. Humans lose. For now...

Be sure to check back for more updates on the Man/Robot War and other aspects of future life.

Summer Lovin'

Over the summer I began following the sleeper hit, Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles. The show was way better than I expected, and now I look forward to new installments each week.

However, one thing I could not help but notice on the show was Cameron, the young female Terminator who protects John Connor. She is played by Summer Glau of Firefly fame. Cameron is a surprisingly deep character, thanks in part to the sublime acting of Ms Glau. She is clearly the strongest actor on the show.

Her character is also helped by the fact she's a hottie. Or is she? Don't get me wrong she is certainly hotter than most girls I'd ever have a chance with, but recently something made me question my attraction to her. My reasons may anger or confuse you fanboys out there. I find Summer especially hot because she almost seems attainable. Why? She has flawed beauty. The flaw lies in her face. Allow me to explain.

For the most part, Summer's face is just lovely. She has a fun balance of innocence, attitude, and insanity. However, there are moments when the prettiness seems to melt away. She does this weird mouth thing that makes her look a little "Short Bus." I don't know about you, but I find that a major turn off. I am not sure why she makes this face, orr if she is even aware of it. She sometimes did the same thing on Firefly, so I am fairly sure it comes from Summer herself and not the writing or direction. Megan Fox, of Transformers fame is often guilty of the same look. I wonder if they went to the same special ed acting school? But I digress...

This seemingly minor flaw works its way through the minds of nerds like myself. Our twisted logic puts the idea in our heads that, "She's hot, but not perfect, that means I have a chance with her." Sadly this logic, much like Summer's face is flawed. There is no way any of us has a chance with a girl like her.

So, in closing, I want to restate that Summer Glau is quite hot, and certainly out of my league. She's a fine actress too, so check her out on Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles (They really need the ratings!)