Pink is merely a malformed clone of Rosie O'Donnell created by a shadowy government organization. Their motives are currently unknown.
Ginger Ale is just Coke and Sprite mixed together. The exact ratio is still kept secret my Soda Jerks.
John Stamos is a Robot.
Spider-Man is real.
Dogs secretly write down everything they see us do and mail the information to the CIA.
Justin Timberlake and Avril Lavigne are the same person.
iPods are powered by stem cells.
Vodka can dissolve pennies.
Global Warming is caused by Bees.
Dolphins would be excellent dancers if we just gave them a chance.
All men with beards are perverts.
Golf balls were created by aliens.
Tim Burton is a Myth.
Drinking Windex will allow you to see in the dark.
Milk does not expire if you never open the bottle.
Mermaids were real, but their lower halves were more like dolphins than fish. They died of "Sea AIDs" in the 1940's.
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