Gravy makes excellent toothpaste.
Blind people can really see, they just don't know what they are looking at.
Jim Carey is really a lump of sentient silly putty.
Mariah Carey is really a lump of non-sentient silly putty.
Cats are up to something.
Cell phones were invented by the Aztecs.
There is no such place as New Zealand. We've all been Punk'd by history professors.
If you pee in a Brita filter, you can drink it.
Carrots cause cancer.
Pirates loved to knit.
The government has manipulated fashion trends to keep sandals popular. That way when they flood the country with acid, people will be unable to escape effectively.
The moment you put on a wedding ring, The Pope kills a baby raccoon.
Britney Spears is Rosa Park's niece.
There was a third Olsen "Twin," but she eaten by a young Candice Cameron.
If you put a chicken egg into the microwave on low power for 300 hours, a dragon will hatch.
Pez was created by the Canadian government to confuse the Polish.
People that wear glasses can see ghosts.
"Hard Candy" is hard because it contains tiny, difficult, math problems.
Ice Cream can cure cancer if ingested anally.
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