If you eat more than three hard boiled eggs for breakfast, you are a douche bag.
The singer Meatloaf is in fact made up of discarded parts of deceased musicians from the late 1940's.
The movie E.T. was a documentary.
The Keebler elves are real, but they make weapons, not cookies.
James Woods traveled back in time and spawned the human race.
Bullets don't actually kill anyone, the loud noises just give people heart attacks.
Blank CD's contain the souls of dead babies.
The Amish are actually displaced time travelers from our post apocalyptic future.
If you shake a puppy hard enough it will turn into a kitten.
Mathew Broderick has the ability to turn invisible.
The girl who played Kimmy Gibbler on "Full House" now runs a Satanic Cult.
Hand sanitizer is just raw sewage.
Tacos were really invented in Ireland. The Mexican Mafia has convinced us otherwise.
If you flip a coin one thousand times in a row, your hair will turn pink.
Glitter is really a secret government tracking device.
Miley Cyrus is actually a shaved orangutan that Billy Ray Cyrus taught to sing.
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