Theories: Part IV

I have taken more time from my education to develop a new batch of amazing theories.


The game of chess was originally called "Royal Squares."

Bottled Water is 90% fish urine.

The film "Gremlins" is based on Steve Buscemi's childhood.

George Burns was a NAZI spy.

Contestants who lose on "Hollywood Squares" are devoured by Whoopie Goldburg.

Justice is a dish best served naked.

Crushed potato chips are a great remedy for athlete's foot.

Fried kittens taste just like bacon. Furry bacon.

Dogs can't see blind people.

Kleenex is Swedish for "snot rag".

Class rings contain government tracking devices.

Ted Turner invented "shrinky dinks."

Strobe lights really slow down time, they are extremely dangerous.

When played backwards, most rap songs sound like whales farting.

Most computers contain tiny spiders that move the data around.

Diet Pepsi is an valid substitute for motor oil.